Sunday, August 16, 2015

It's Okay..

There have been phrases so far this year that have stuck out to me. That I hear frequently. There are many I could list off now, but I won't get into detail. You probably read in my last post about how words are powerful. Well, they are. Each and every one. Believe it or not, the simplest word like "okay" can take a conversation or a thought in so many directions. Do you see yourself living just an "okay" life? Do you think your relationships with people are "okay"? Or do you just want everything to be "okay"? Let me tell ya, I think I am getting tired of this word okay. It is so overused. It could potentially be messing up your life. Especially when you're living in an okay mind set and you're not thinking or dreaming bigger.

Do you really think God intended for you to have an okay life? If you think that, wake up! I have good news for you. You don't have to settle anymore. You can be blessed. That dream that's in your heart, CAN come true. Those desires that you have been having for good, you CAN obtain them. It isn't greedy, it isn't selfish, don't believe those lies. Jesus had a purpose with His people. This earth, this life, was created for us. We have access to the beauty that is all around us. I know it seems crazy, but close your eyes. Picture something big (it doesn't have to be a material item) that you have a desire for. If you're single, imagine a husband or wife. If you're working too hard at your job, and you need rest, imagine a relaxing vacation with family. If you're married and need a dream home, close your eyes, picture it. Do you see what you're believing for? Now here's the test: Do you believe that there is a God that can make that possible for you?? It's true, and it's real. God knows what you need. He knows what you want. He wants to make the impossible possible for you.

I want to shift this a little bit and just be real with you. I have been trying to live an okay life ever since I can remember. I have always been in this frame of mind where "if nothing bad happens to me or my family, we're okay, and I am fine". I just want to let you know, this is a horrible way to live. This way of living has put such a stronghold on my family and I. The devil took a lot of things. Joy, unity, faith, provision, dreams, hopes, goals, and I can really go on and on. There is a God, but people, you need to know there is a devil too. He is working SO hard to destroy your life. He has grabbed my family by the tail so to speak more than once, and he even still has a grip on them, and even on me too. It isn't fun. It isn't where we are meant to be. An okay life is NOT from God.

Just recently, I ended a relationship before the five year anniversary. This wasn't easy one bit. I think sometime in 2013 I was starting to get confirmation from God and my church family that him and I maybe needed to evaluate our relationship. I needed to pray about him being the one. I ignored those people telling me what to do. I ignored God. I was in denial of the truth. Our relationship was okay, so because of that, I was okay, and I didn't want to change that. As time went on, things got a bit bumpy. We made choices that weren't prayed over. We didn't pray at all. I started walking away from God. We did things on an impulse. Love was out of obligation. But we were okay! That's what really mattered, right? The relationship didn't have abuse, there was no infidelity, we always said "I love you". But, it was just okay.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not here to bash my ex boyfriend. I'm not pointing fingers at him or saying this is all his fault. It isn't. Things just happen, and things don't work out when God isn't in the center of it. I will always have him in my heart, and that's the truth. He is a good man, and his intentions were never evil. I wanted to prove the point that living okay should not be a goal in anyone's life. God is available to every single person on this planet. He created you. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He knows who you are going to talk to tomorrow. He knows it all! If we trust people on earth with our lives, why aren't we trusting the creator of the universe??

With the new label I guess you could say that I have acquired, I'm not really sure how I am handling it yet. I know that there isn't anything wrong with being single. Being single can be fun. There are a lot more things I have the freedom to do, and I know for a fact that I am going to make the best of it. I didn't change my relationship status right away when the breakup happened. I don't need the extra attention. I didn't need a pity party. I didn't need people to think I was a wreck. I just wanted some time to process. Heck, I'm still processing.. It's only been 4 months, but it feels like a year. In the time I have had by myself, my eyes are opened, the blinders are off. I see things in a different light. With that, my emotions went a little haywire. I didn't have the tall guy to hug me when I cried. I didn't really have anyone. I didn't want to accept the fact that I am alone. My family has a history (on both sides) of dependency. We can't be alone, or we freak. Sadly, this got passed on to my sister and I. We didn't want to be single for long. My past wanted to creep up on me and remind me of my past breakups. So, my okay life suddenly became not okay.

I opened up to some close friends. I shed a lot of tears. Then I started hearing "It's okay to cry", "it's okay to be sad", "it's okay that you are having these feelings"..... Last time I checked, and if the bible is correct (which it is), I am NOT supposed to sink into a depression and stay that way. *Yes, crying is alright, but I was getting tired of hearing the "okays" all the time.* God is Love, God is Comfort, God is PEACE. If I am living a life under a rain cloud, guess what? That is what Satan wants, and I am not living under an open heaven. So, this is where I am getting me back. I am taking back what has been stolen from me. I will have a healthy relationship one day. I will be happy, healthy, and whole. When people ask me how I'm doing, I will no longer say "I'm okay". It's time to throw away the okay life, and live a BLESSED life. I am taking back my finances, I am taking back my freedom, I am taking back my relationship with God, and I am taking back the name Alyssa. What ever label the devil wants to give me, I am going to give it right back. He doesn't say who I am , God does. And God knows me by name, and His voice is the one I am listening for.

My prayer this evening as I type is that the words I am publishing get read by someone. I just want the world to know how good God is. This world is full of chaos. You can have a better life. Time is short, but if God wakes you up tomorrow, do something in THAT day. Don't wait to make a change. Step out on the water now. I know it will be scary, believe me. This season right now is the most scared I have ever been. This scripture is really becoming one that I am holding dear to my heart. Even a little bit of faith goes a long way. Matthew 17:20 NKJV "So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."

So ask yourself, do you still want everything to be "okay"?

Saturday, March 21, 2015

You can be courageous.

As I sit, and I ponder, my mind explores many topics.
Like, what needs to get done this evening, what am I doing tomorrow, and then - oh no! The next day is Monday, which means work! Ack. Heh, it's not worth the stress. Really.
God didn't call me to be worried about what's happening tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself. That's what the Word says.
Notice how people are frantic these days? I myself are guilty of such at times. Chaotic, scatter brained, whatever you would like to call it. Can America just calm down?
Does yoga need to be a universal free service or something? ....... Or maybe, just maybe, the world needs a lot more of Jesus.
Look at all the GOOD things that He is, and what He stands for. Oh man, I get chills just thinking of His greatness! (Or maybe it's just cold in here....) Anyway.
Christians need to be praying for God's people. We pray for family, friends, and even at times our crazy co workers, but what about the other billions of people that God created? They're important too, are they not? Even our leaders in this great nation, they need prayer. Next year we'll be voting for our next president.
These past eight years have been quite the roller coaster. It pains me to watch the nightly news. However, it is good to know what is happening, so I must be strong about it.
Now, I'm not an Obama hater. Let's make that clear. I don't think that God told His believers to bash a president that they don't agree with on the internet.
That just isn't right, and that makes us (as Christians) look just like the world.
When I voted for the president in 2012, I was 20 years old. For some reason, my mind wasn't quite wired like it is now (imagine that).
I wasn't properly educated on politics and government. I honestly disliked history and government in school with a flaming passion, so that may explain my poor judgments.
This year I will more than likely be praying for this country, and for the candidates. I know it is my civil duty to vote, so I will approach things a bit more seriously this time around.
In the mean time, this is serious stuff, people. What we are speaking from our own mouths determines the future of our very lives. God SPOKE. Things HAPPENED when He spoke.
The same goes for us, things happen when we open our mouths. Out of the mouth the heart speaks. I seem to keep this quote very close to me.
I constantly have to remember that the things I am speaking, are coming from my heart. And if those words aren't Godly, my heart needs an adjustment.
To make this post a bit more realistic, I am not a perfect Christian at all. God is still working on me each day.
Sometimes I take steps backward, when I really should have been moving forward. Being a believer has it's challenges. We have a devil in our midst, seeking whom he may devour.
The enemy does not care where you are in life, he wants to steal everything from you. Isn't that crazy?
You wouldn't leave the door to your home unlocked if you knew an armed robber was walking down the street, would you? Wouldn't you do everything you could to stay safe?
The devil is like that armed robber. He's close by. But yet the people on that street seem to let him walk into their house. Through media, through arguments, through disbelief.
We give the enemy opportunities almost all the time to steal from us. But yet we're not seeing it, until it is too late.
God is so gracious. And He wants to give back what has been stolen. He wants you to recover from the storm that may have hit your life last year. He wants you to be fully restored.
(I just take a long sigh from that, it's so good knowing that God wants that for me, and everyone I so dearly care about.)

Don't give up. Press on. Stay strong, and be courageous. If you become weak, ask God for strength.
If you're sad, ask God to fill you with joy.
You are a cup that is meant to overflow.

I hope this post touched someone's heart today. I'll be writing again soon.


Friday, April 15, 2011

I wonder what flying is like

Lately I have been feeling like a bird. Not just any bird, but one that is trapped in her cage all day. Only has a few visitors come by every now and then, only eats when she's hungry, sings her tune when she feels like singing... but the song gets her nowhere.

I just feel like I'm confined to my home. I cry out, I sing out loud, I voice my opinion. But I can't spread my wings! I just want to fly.. Just get out there, and actually experience the world!! In my cage, I hear everything. People talking, gossip, hate, and anything else you can think of- I hear. People think "oh she's just that one girl, whatever.." and they don't get it that I hear them, and deep down I really don't want to. I'm in this cage, I can't escape the things around me. I can't fly from the people that are a stress to me. I can't fly from my heartbreak. I'm trapped in it, and it is trapped in me.
What is this, emotional prison?

Don't get me wrong, there are times when I can be a happy bird.
(Oh gosh, if you haven't noticed I am figuratively speaking yet, you are quite the dumb one.)
Anyway, I have good days. They come, just not really as often as I would like. I have someone in my life who makes me sing, who makes me believe I can do what I think is impossible. He's good to me, and if I was with him more, I'd be a bit happier tonight.. But, my better days are.... hmm how should I put this. I like when I have my better days, it makes my brain think things I wouldn't normally think, and I kind of have these deep thought thinking type spurt things.. {lol} and it puts me at ease for the time being.

((oh lordy I'm ranting. Gosh, I feel like... I could go on and on. What topic am I writing about?! D: *breathes* okay, I need to.... um. turn my brain back on.))

Maybe I'll change things up a bit.
I need a car. Badly. And ya know what, I don't give a rat's butt about gas (well I do, but in a way.. I really don't.). If I had my license right now, & a vehicle, maybe I wouldn't be so trapped. Sure I wouldn't want to drive so much because of the insane gas prices right now, but I can go somewhere that isn't here. There's something about driving that just gives me this sense of both power, and relaxation. I don't even think that makes any sense at all, but hey, do ya think I meant to make any sense in this post? These are my... BLURBS! Therefore, I will blurb on and on about anything my heart desires :3

I guess to close this, and to make it actually have some floowww... I look at this season of my life as being a singing bird that is trapped in her cage with no where to go, and people telling her to stop chirping. Singing is one thing, but when I chirp at the wrong place or the wrong time, I get penalized for it. I know, it's a shame. Who knows, maybe one day, I will be freed. And people will look at me flying, and wonder how I got up there. I will try my best to stay strong, I promise. But for now..... You're stuck with this post straight from the heart of Alyssa.

Thank you :]
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