Sunday, August 16, 2015

It's Okay..

There have been phrases so far this year that have stuck out to me. That I hear frequently. There are many I could list off now, but I won't get into detail. You probably read in my last post about how words are powerful. Well, they are. Each and every one. Believe it or not, the simplest word like "okay" can take a conversation or a thought in so many directions. Do you see yourself living just an "okay" life? Do you think your relationships with people are "okay"? Or do you just want everything to be "okay"? Let me tell ya, I think I am getting tired of this word okay. It is so overused. It could potentially be messing up your life. Especially when you're living in an okay mind set and you're not thinking or dreaming bigger.

Do you really think God intended for you to have an okay life? If you think that, wake up! I have good news for you. You don't have to settle anymore. You can be blessed. That dream that's in your heart, CAN come true. Those desires that you have been having for good, you CAN obtain them. It isn't greedy, it isn't selfish, don't believe those lies. Jesus had a purpose with His people. This earth, this life, was created for us. We have access to the beauty that is all around us. I know it seems crazy, but close your eyes. Picture something big (it doesn't have to be a material item) that you have a desire for. If you're single, imagine a husband or wife. If you're working too hard at your job, and you need rest, imagine a relaxing vacation with family. If you're married and need a dream home, close your eyes, picture it. Do you see what you're believing for? Now here's the test: Do you believe that there is a God that can make that possible for you?? It's true, and it's real. God knows what you need. He knows what you want. He wants to make the impossible possible for you.

I want to shift this a little bit and just be real with you. I have been trying to live an okay life ever since I can remember. I have always been in this frame of mind where "if nothing bad happens to me or my family, we're okay, and I am fine". I just want to let you know, this is a horrible way to live. This way of living has put such a stronghold on my family and I. The devil took a lot of things. Joy, unity, faith, provision, dreams, hopes, goals, and I can really go on and on. There is a God, but people, you need to know there is a devil too. He is working SO hard to destroy your life. He has grabbed my family by the tail so to speak more than once, and he even still has a grip on them, and even on me too. It isn't fun. It isn't where we are meant to be. An okay life is NOT from God.

Just recently, I ended a relationship before the five year anniversary. This wasn't easy one bit. I think sometime in 2013 I was starting to get confirmation from God and my church family that him and I maybe needed to evaluate our relationship. I needed to pray about him being the one. I ignored those people telling me what to do. I ignored God. I was in denial of the truth. Our relationship was okay, so because of that, I was okay, and I didn't want to change that. As time went on, things got a bit bumpy. We made choices that weren't prayed over. We didn't pray at all. I started walking away from God. We did things on an impulse. Love was out of obligation. But we were okay! That's what really mattered, right? The relationship didn't have abuse, there was no infidelity, we always said "I love you". But, it was just okay.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not here to bash my ex boyfriend. I'm not pointing fingers at him or saying this is all his fault. It isn't. Things just happen, and things don't work out when God isn't in the center of it. I will always have him in my heart, and that's the truth. He is a good man, and his intentions were never evil. I wanted to prove the point that living okay should not be a goal in anyone's life. God is available to every single person on this planet. He created you. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He knows who you are going to talk to tomorrow. He knows it all! If we trust people on earth with our lives, why aren't we trusting the creator of the universe??

With the new label I guess you could say that I have acquired, I'm not really sure how I am handling it yet. I know that there isn't anything wrong with being single. Being single can be fun. There are a lot more things I have the freedom to do, and I know for a fact that I am going to make the best of it. I didn't change my relationship status right away when the breakup happened. I don't need the extra attention. I didn't need a pity party. I didn't need people to think I was a wreck. I just wanted some time to process. Heck, I'm still processing.. It's only been 4 months, but it feels like a year. In the time I have had by myself, my eyes are opened, the blinders are off. I see things in a different light. With that, my emotions went a little haywire. I didn't have the tall guy to hug me when I cried. I didn't really have anyone. I didn't want to accept the fact that I am alone. My family has a history (on both sides) of dependency. We can't be alone, or we freak. Sadly, this got passed on to my sister and I. We didn't want to be single for long. My past wanted to creep up on me and remind me of my past breakups. So, my okay life suddenly became not okay.

I opened up to some close friends. I shed a lot of tears. Then I started hearing "It's okay to cry", "it's okay to be sad", "it's okay that you are having these feelings"..... Last time I checked, and if the bible is correct (which it is), I am NOT supposed to sink into a depression and stay that way. *Yes, crying is alright, but I was getting tired of hearing the "okays" all the time.* God is Love, God is Comfort, God is PEACE. If I am living a life under a rain cloud, guess what? That is what Satan wants, and I am not living under an open heaven. So, this is where I am getting me back. I am taking back what has been stolen from me. I will have a healthy relationship one day. I will be happy, healthy, and whole. When people ask me how I'm doing, I will no longer say "I'm okay". It's time to throw away the okay life, and live a BLESSED life. I am taking back my finances, I am taking back my freedom, I am taking back my relationship with God, and I am taking back the name Alyssa. What ever label the devil wants to give me, I am going to give it right back. He doesn't say who I am , God does. And God knows me by name, and His voice is the one I am listening for.

My prayer this evening as I type is that the words I am publishing get read by someone. I just want the world to know how good God is. This world is full of chaos. You can have a better life. Time is short, but if God wakes you up tomorrow, do something in THAT day. Don't wait to make a change. Step out on the water now. I know it will be scary, believe me. This season right now is the most scared I have ever been. This scripture is really becoming one that I am holding dear to my heart. Even a little bit of faith goes a long way. Matthew 17:20 NKJV "So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."

So ask yourself, do you still want everything to be "okay"?

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