I wonder what flying is like

Lately I have been feeling like a bird. Not just any bird, but one that is trapped in her cage all day. Only has a few visitors come by every now and then, only eats when she's hungry, sings her tune when she feels like singing... but the song gets her nowhere.

I just feel like I'm confined to my home. I cry out, I sing out loud, I voice my opinion. But I can't spread my wings! I just want to fly.. Just get out there, and actually experience the world!! In my cage, I hear everything. People talking, gossip, hate, and anything else you can think of- I hear. People think "oh she's just that one girl, whatever.." and they don't get it that I hear them, and deep down I really don't want to. I'm in this cage, I can't escape the things around me. I can't fly from the people that are a stress to me. I can't fly from my heartbreak. I'm trapped in it, and it is trapped in me.
What is this, emotional prison?

Don't get me wrong, there are times when I can be a happy bird.
(Oh gosh, if you haven't noticed I am figuratively speaking yet, you are quite the dumb one.)
Anyway, I have good days. They come, just not really as often as I would like. I have someone in my life who makes me sing, who makes me believe I can do what I think is impossible. He's good to me, and if I was with him more, I'd be a bit happier tonight.. But, my better days are.... hmm how should I put this. I like when I have my better days, it makes my brain think things I wouldn't normally think, and I kind of have these deep thought thinking type spurt things.. {lol} and it puts me at ease for the time being.

((oh lordy I'm ranting. Gosh, I feel like... I could go on and on. What topic am I writing about?! D: *breathes* okay, I need to.... um. turn my brain back on.))

Maybe I'll change things up a bit.
I need a car. Badly. And ya know what, I don't give a rat's butt about gas (well I do, but in a way.. I really don't.). If I had my license right now, & a vehicle, maybe I wouldn't be so trapped. Sure I wouldn't want to drive so much because of the insane gas prices right now, but I can go somewhere that isn't here. There's something about driving that just gives me this sense of both power, and relaxation. I don't even think that makes any sense at all, but hey, do ya think I meant to make any sense in this post? These are my... BLURBS! Therefore, I will blurb on and on about anything my heart desires :3

I guess to close this, and to make it actually have some floowww... I look at this season of my life as being a singing bird that is trapped in her cage with no where to go, and people telling her to stop chirping. Singing is one thing, but when I chirp at the wrong place or the wrong time, I get penalized for it. I know, it's a shame. Who knows, maybe one day, I will be freed. And people will look at me flying, and wonder how I got up there. I will try my best to stay strong, I promise. But for now..... You're stuck with this post straight from the heart of Alyssa.

Thank you :]

Moving Forward

The enemy, the darkness, the hatred, and the pain will all find ways to trap me and bring me down. I've been through many ups, and many downs. There have been times where I have been at my lowest points possible. I have wanted to give up, I have wanted to shun people out of my life, I've just wanted to be isolated to myself.

But something happened this year, something I can't think to let go of. God has worked wonders in my life. He has showed me things, he has spoke to me through the word, and now he is doing his works on my best friend who I never thought would step in a church with me.

Some things have come up in my life that are changing the way I live every day. But every time I get those fears, or those worries, I know who is the one that will always be there for me and who will always be by my side. I have something to lift my spirit, and he can do this for anyone on this earth, as long as they call to Him. I believe through these hard times right now, a light will shine through. I believe that when the world thinks there is nothing left to do, a spiritual war will come, and the believers will have victory. If we all become one, and look to things above, all of the chaos down on earth will just someday be another page in a history book.

I'm..

hypnotized, mesmerised, caught by surprise, & all thoughts are pushed aside --
when I look into your eyes

Life is.

Next time someone asks me how life is, I will reply to them with one word:

Short

Things just come to me.

Thinking of him night and day, so much that is left to say. Only dreaming, wishing he were here, if only this dream became real..

[I know it is a short post, but it's better than waiting any longer, right?]